Time

You know that you're bored and have been waiting a very long time for things to get good when you stand alone reminding yourself where you are, at that moment, so your body doesn't just shut down and collapse. I find myself doing this sometimes. I begin to obsess and be utterly fascinated with the fact that time continues on, no matter what. Whether you are waiting for something to happen, trying to make it happen, saying yes, or no, or just being generally indecisive, time is this never ending, never slowing, never stopping energized entity. Sometimes you are happy with this, because as the years pass, you understand things in a whole new way. You realize that bangs were a bad idea, and that the dress you loved at the time was unflattering on you, and you realize how relationships work, and how people tick, and you get completely knocked down by this force that is so much stronger than you, and you break, then eventually you sew the pieces back together, and you get up, and you grow, and push back at the forces, and fight to find your self worth, you still wear the scars, and they are always a constant reminder of the past, but new people and opportunities come into your life and you don't notice the scars as much. You go through all of this and the clock is ticking all the while, the moments that were perfect slip by so fast that they are lost in former years, and you get old, and change, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. When your time stops, it continues for billions of others. And you become a memory, a part of their past. The time gets away from me a lot, and if it isn't generous soon, then I might get lost in it.