iVictoria

To me, you are the one spark of light in a dark world, like this mystical life-line.
To you, I am an object, a tool that you use for this artificial feeling.
I try so hard to make you feel, to make you see me, to really know you, to help you live the best life you possibly can, and not self destruct
But, you don't give me the chance. All I do is give, until i'm merely a fraction of a person, and I wait, and I wait, but you never remember to care.
I REALLY care about you, about your well-being,your happiness, your life
But, you don't. You never speak. I can't keep doing this, but I can't stop myself, and I can't wash this out of my brain because these things are real, and they happened, and pound in my brain all day until I drive myself insane. All I am is love, so why am I constantly being thrown away.I don't think I can take being ripped apart anymore, the particles are so smashed that they barely fit together. I fake this smile so hard, but this water still overflows my eye sockets. I don't know why I'm so drawn to you. You are so different from anyone. or maybe I'm just stupid. You make me stupid. I don't think you've ever asked me a question. You have no desire to know me, at all... and all I want is for you to explain why. I need this, because wondering is pain. You fuck with my head, and it kills me. My whole life feels like a disease. like a moribund. You were on the fucking floor. I fell asleep next to you. And, woke up, and You were on the fucking floor? Am I a disease? Am I a fucking lepor, and I'm just unaware? I just want happiness. Love. A fish out of water really is a metaphor for my life. Struggling to breath, unable to do anything, looking absolutely pathetic. I want to go to fucking lunch. Can we just go somewhere, ALONE, and sober, and enjoy each others company? I don't see what's so hard.