easily serious, to seriously easy?

The stress of the school year is slowly creeping back, and i'm trying not to let it consume me. I hate when people are serious, i hate having to be serious, about anything, especially pertaining to my life. I need to get out. I need to get out of here quickly. I need to get out of here before all seriousness eats me alive. I need to go to a place where nothing is serious and everythings easy, so i won't feel like I have to put my built up life's work into making things happen. I continue to wonder... can things ever happen on their own? Not in my life, they don't. Everything that I've ever wanted to happen, I've had to make happen. I've thought about this, and this is true; nature is not on my side. Horoscopes Lie... There's no fate... If you want something, you must go for it. If you don't want something, you must try your best to avoid it. And if you are forced to do things, you must do them with your best effort if you want to make it out. This is done so that we can learn to depend on ourselves instead of these so called forces of the universe. We do this because it is what's real. We do this in order to have a reward of ease, once we get out of the cloud of seriousness, and make ourselves.

something i've never consistently felt..until now?

For some reason... lately i've been really happy. I feel like I can possibly make it in the world. My life is pretty boring and uneventful, so the fact that I feel this way is mind-altering. I am not thrilled about starting school again, considering when I was younger I thought I'd be experiencing a way more successful life by this time, especially by this time. I am not there yet, not even close, but I feel like i've needed it for so long that I will have it some day. Hopefully, sooner rather than later. Damn I love Richard Gere, sorry my mind has now wondered to my television set. Me and my mother both have this strange Richard Gere obsession. This started when I was 4 years old. I just recently found out that my mother shared this obsession with me, and it's Creepy. Anyway, my craving for success is becoming stronger with each day, so i need it, i need it bad. If i'm happy now, just think of the ecstasy I will feel when I'm accomplished!

"Teenage dreams in a teenage circus
Running around like a clown on purpose
Who gives a damn about the family you come from?
No givin up when you’re young and you want some"

MIKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!