I forget to take my medicine a lot now. The weird thing is that I don't feel sick, I don't feel overly sad or mad. As long as I am surrounded by positive people laughing and acting as themselves I can contain happiness. I feel okay, though my emotions will always be a rollercoaster. I love life so very much and hate it at the same time. A burden, but a gift. We are put here to have emotions ranging from ecstatic happiness to unbearable pain and rage. God, or whoever you believe is this "higher power", watches us like little figures in a snow globe. He sees what every eyeball sees from a validictorian saying her speech with a sense of unbreakable pride, to a girl at a party being date raped, to a child in Africa starving to death while flies fly around his head, to the family members of people who died in an earthquake in Haiti, to a brilliant filmaker winning his first oscar, to a girl prepping for plastic surgery, to a cancer patient prepping for a life-altering surgery, to the parents or family members who care for their ill loves, AND SO ON AND SO ON AND SO ON. Emotions run so much deeper than mad, sad, happy, tired. Every little aspect of this life AMAZES me. People can look at the world in the simplest or most complex of terms and it's all correct. Life is so much more than right, wrong, evil, good, highschool, sex, drugs, rock and roll, missions, stalking, avoiding, loving, hating. The language that we use is so complex in itself that you find yourself amazed when someone wastes it all on fuck, or man, or some computer popular acronym. It's funny how putting random letters together can make some phrase that some find shocking, or feel genuine emotion toward. Life is so complex, but breathing is so easy that we don't even notice it, and that's what keeps us living. We must learn to appreciate, to realize that EVERYONE is human, EVERYONE has emotions, EVERYONE, at some point, is confused and searching for their purpose. But, our goal is to keep living. To make something of ourselves. To Love. To let go of the past, accept it, and understand that it makes us who we'll be in the future. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is so close, and people on this Earth are dying as I type, and just as many people are being born. LEARN TO APPRECIATE. Learn to love yourself and also respect and love others. We're so alike, and so different, and that is what makes all this complexity beautiful, and WORTH LIVING.
